Wednesday, October 22, 2003
And in the darkness bind them....
Bras are about to become much, much harder to unhook. Gentlemen, start your engines...
The New Hotness
Bras are about to become much, much harder to unhook. Gentlemen, start your engines...
The New Hotness
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
The Dark Tower (records)
First of all, let me just confirm that indeed, asses were handed to their respective owners in Halo-fest 2k3 over the weekend. Although I have to admit, Tommy Shu and Mk@t are getting pretty good. Also, we were joined by Lt. Dan, a n00b to the sport. He fared better than most do at first... I only managed to club him to death 9 times before he killed for the first time. Then he got intimate with my rocket launcher. That's not a euphemism, you sick-o.
Fang gets jiggy in Halo, bliznitch. pwnx0red!!1!!!1!.
So today is new music day. Oh, how I love Tuesdays. There's a whole new bunch of tuneful remedies for my week's ailments available for consumption on Tuesday, music to soothe the homicidal antelope in my soul.....although I have to say that I miss Mike's in good ol' SC; I used to love going down there for their Monday Midnight Madness, picking up the newest releases by bands I barely knew with whatever money I could scrounge from rolling hookers and bums. There was always such an air of excitement, and the crowds crackled with electric anticipation. It was really indescribable, but much akin to Christmas morning at about 5:00, when you're awake but your parents aren't yet so your only recourse is to pound your head on the dresser over and over and over until the pretty seizure lights come.
Now, I have Tower. Dark, evil Tower Records. No Midnight fevers, no $12.98 or under guarantee, no clerks that have appeared in Maxim. Their clerks really give record store workers a bad name... they're not the cool, edgy people you see working other places with similar wares. They're surly, rude, unhelpful Kinko's rejects. Just smart enough to operate a register, basically. Without flinging their own feces at it. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised by this, since Tower really isn't very different from Bestbuy or Circuit City. All three hire people who really should have to display their high school diplomas on their person at all times, preferably by stapling the thing to their foreheads, as well as provide proof that they weren't stillborn or a product of some horrible laboratory accident (possibly involving gelatin, pop-rocks, and an erstwhile penguin).
Anyway, Howie Day's new album hits today, and I'm psyched. He's right up there with Rufus Wainright and John Mayer as a nu-folk hero. Nu-folk, I like that. Maybe the sellout pigfuckers at Rolling Stone can pick that up and scream it from their gaping beefcurtains, thus making it the nu-est term for nu music. Static-X is also releasing a new album today, which I am wet for as well. There's a huge backlog of music I haven't purchased too... good thing Gift-grabbing Day is right around the corner. Ho ho ho, gimme gimme gimme.
One more thing: I've reviewed my Pentaverate of Evil Marketplaces, and the new list is as follows.
If you have nominations as to someone I left out in this list, lemme know and gimme a reason. In the meantime, do everything bad you can think of to these places. They deserve it more than you can imagine.
First of all, let me just confirm that indeed, asses were handed to their respective owners in Halo-fest 2k3 over the weekend. Although I have to admit, Tommy Shu and Mk@t are getting pretty good. Also, we were joined by Lt. Dan, a n00b to the sport. He fared better than most do at first... I only managed to club him to death 9 times before he killed for the first time. Then he got intimate with my rocket launcher. That's not a euphemism, you sick-o.
So today is new music day. Oh, how I love Tuesdays. There's a whole new bunch of tuneful remedies for my week's ailments available for consumption on Tuesday, music to soothe the homicidal antelope in my soul.....although I have to say that I miss Mike's in good ol' SC; I used to love going down there for their Monday Midnight Madness, picking up the newest releases by bands I barely knew with whatever money I could scrounge from rolling hookers and bums. There was always such an air of excitement, and the crowds crackled with electric anticipation. It was really indescribable, but much akin to Christmas morning at about 5:00, when you're awake but your parents aren't yet so your only recourse is to pound your head on the dresser over and over and over until the pretty seizure lights come.
Now, I have Tower. Dark, evil Tower Records. No Midnight fevers, no $12.98 or under guarantee, no clerks that have appeared in Maxim. Their clerks really give record store workers a bad name... they're not the cool, edgy people you see working other places with similar wares. They're surly, rude, unhelpful Kinko's rejects. Just smart enough to operate a register, basically. Without flinging their own feces at it. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised by this, since Tower really isn't very different from Bestbuy or Circuit City. All three hire people who really should have to display their high school diplomas on their person at all times, preferably by stapling the thing to their foreheads, as well as provide proof that they weren't stillborn or a product of some horrible laboratory accident (possibly involving gelatin, pop-rocks, and an erstwhile penguin).
Anyway, Howie Day's new album hits today, and I'm psyched. He's right up there with Rufus Wainright and John Mayer as a nu-folk hero. Nu-folk, I like that. Maybe the sellout pigfuckers at Rolling Stone can pick that up and scream it from their gaping beefcurtains, thus making it the nu-est term for nu music. Static-X is also releasing a new album today, which I am wet for as well. There's a huge backlog of music I haven't purchased too... good thing Gift-grabbing Day is right around the corner. Ho ho ho, gimme gimme gimme.
One more thing: I've reviewed my Pentaverate of Evil Marketplaces, and the new list is as follows.
- Kinko's
- GameStop
- Pep Boys
- Bestbuy
- Gap
If you have nominations as to someone I left out in this list, lemme know and gimme a reason. In the meantime, do everything bad you can think of to these places. They deserve it more than you can imagine.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Famous Moments in History #167: On the Offensive
Said by me today:
"Actually, that fetus is just a placeholder until I get the rest of my shit sorted out."
In other news, Tommy Shu and Mk@t are rollin' into town to watch the PSU game Saturday, and to ge thier asses handed to them in Halo by yours truly. Let the debauchery begin.... here's to gettin' TMD (tm). Also, my graphic design website is up and functional. It ain't pretty, but I did the whole thing in notepad and can't use any CGI scripts, so there ya go.
Said by me today:
"Actually, that fetus is just a placeholder until I get the rest of my shit sorted out."
In other news, Tommy Shu and Mk@t are rollin' into town to watch the PSU game Saturday, and to ge thier asses handed to them in Halo by yours truly. Let the debauchery begin.... here's to gettin' TMD (tm). Also, my graphic design website is up and functional. It ain't pretty, but I did the whole thing in notepad and can't use any CGI scripts, so there ya go.
